Why you will continue to watch Shutter Island despite guessing the ‘twist’ ending right from the start.

'Finally a spanking new thriller' you might first think when you see the trailer for Shutter Island. But it’s a thriller that's so much more then a refreshing breather from the gore, sadistic horror films we are now so tiresomely showered with (Don't get me started on the human centipede). The genre is all new, yet very much copied - it’s a thriller, a film noir, a gothic b-movie detective story, a psychological mind fuck and gosh there’s even Nazi’s in it! To add more thrill prior to watching the film you find Scorsese is the director with another collaboration with Leonardo DiCaprio taking lead. Exciting isn’t it folks!

Yes its Martin Scorsese’s newest film, a thriller about detective Teddy Daniels, (DiCaprio) who comes to an Island (I’ll let you guess the Island’s name) which happens to be a asylum/prison filled with dangerous mental patients. He’s there to investigate one of the most notorious patients, Rachel Solando (Emily Mortimer) who’s missing, from her locked cell, leaving behind her shoes and a coded message. As more clues come to light, Teddy becomes more tangled in what the hell is going on, and with distrustful (and unhelpful) doctors, hazardous storms brewing and madmen missing this film proves it is more then just spooky thriller.

Yet it’s not Scorsese best. And of course it’s not. It’s flawed at times with incoherence of the plot, the way it just doesn’t quite fit even after a second viewing, and we probably should care more emotionally for the lead but we are too busy fixed with the visual setting and events happening, instead of Teddy’s turmoil and angst. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a great movie, because it is. It’s like saying I don’t like the roast dinner in front of me because there’s no Yorkshire puddings. Yes it’s been criticised for being too long, but I was too gripped by the sheer tension and curiosity from the moment they arrive on the island to notice the over 2 hour running time. Yes it’s missing something that would have made it another appetisingly winning Scorsese film, but it’s absolutely worth watching anyway (preferably after you’ve finished your dinner if, like me, you have a delicate stomach for horror) because everything else about it is so very right.

The horror remains chilling rather than gory, more ‘Shining’ than ‘Saw’, but what makes the sicklier scenes stand out is that the gruesome shots are in fact quite beautiful. Truly, they each frame is a work of art, indeed cinematography fans will be incredibly pleased at the film noir influenced trippy staging and lighting of the scenes. Even the Nazi killing in the memory recalls are dramatically picturesque, despite my stomach churning. The film, I noted, wavers on the theatrical cliff at times, where perhaps the music or event doesn’t quite feel as emotional as the film compels it to be – but I imply it only tilts slightly, producing the quality b-movie it’s after, rather than falling towards a cheesier melodramatic experience that could easily have been created be more amateur directors.

And so the game is afoot! Or so you’d expect as the obvious suspected villains (evidently by there unmistakable Queen’s English accents of course!) Dr. Cawley (Ben Kingsley) and German assistant Dr Naehring (Von Sydow) become more and more frustratingly suspicious and the film trips and turns, causing you to ask ‘did you just see that or am I the one that’s going mad?’ But the game never really gets going, in the Agatha Christie/Sherlock Holmes traditional way that is. Thriller fans will spot the twist quickly before the long running time has had chance to proceed a quarter of the way in, whilst unfamiliar audiences to this genre will guess the possible ending before the inevitable reveal. But that’s just is, the reveal isn’t a ‘aaaah! It all makes sense now, of course!’ Jonathon Creek style conclusion. Without revealing any spoilers I have great difficulty explaining the brilliance of the ending. All I can say is if you are hoping for an unexpected twist shocker, then you’ll be thoroughly disappointed, but if you crave for a more interesting ending then the film becomes elementary more enjoyable. Does that make sense? Probably not, I’m starting to wonder if I’m crazy…

Shutter Island is much like a jigsaw puzzle, where you have a pretty good idea how the picture will turn out, but it’s the fascinating way pieces connect together that allows you to enjoy the bigger picture once it’s completed.

4/5 – Whether you enjoy it or not it’s a definite brilliant cinematic watch, and a must buy on DVD to rewind those ‘did you just see what I saw?’ moments.

 P.S Watch out for the glass of water…

Why You Get What You Pay For

So I went to see Hot Tub Time Machine because I won free tickets. It’s been claimed to be a mix of 'The Hangover' meets 'Back To The Future'. WRONG.

Back To the Future was clever and refreshing. Whatever you may (or may not) think of the Hangover it was at least witty and appealing. Both had structures and likeable relatable characters. Hot Tub made you frown at the gags, repulse at the unnecessary gore and bite your lower lip every time you heard a line quite clearly ripped off from another film or TV programme. Your face therefore becomes a monstrous knot of angst and misery at the genuine crapness of the film.

Ok so I hear you question 'Well what did you expect from a film called Hot Tub Time Machine?' Good point. Well I guess I expected cheese in the way Superbad ate the parmesan cheese and spat it back out as stilton, or I suppose I counted on seeing at least one witty line the way Anchorman provided, (which triggered a number of people to discuss how they love lamp). I expected to feel at least a tiny amount of pity for the guy (Lou) who tried to commit suicide but instead I suffered irritation and annoyance that he wasn’t buried six feet under because he’d be somewhat less bothersome as a a corpse. But most of all I expected the frickin hot tub ‘go-back-to-the-80s’ time machine to be cool. Like boast flashing lights and funky colours all bubbling together like a toilet flush when you pour Mateys bubble bath down whilst shining a retro disco light above it.

I like the 80s. Ok I like the British 80s as I don’t know much about the American 80s except during that time had similar fashion, and made awesome films like ET, Star Wars, Indian Jones and of course Back To The Future. This film should appeal to me and say ‘hey look how awesome the 80s are – leg warmers, human league and Michael Jackson’s black HA HA HA!’ but instead I’m thinking I’m bored, we still hear 80s music played on some radio stations, people still wear leg warmers (ahem, including myself) and there’s been enough jokes about Jackson’s death and speculation of paedophilia that the colour of his skin is a far outdated joke. As a fan of Ashes To Ashes, which reveals how just a few decades can change so much, I was disappointed to find that the Hot Tub appears to show that times haven’t changed that much due to the lack of anything in the 80s (except eager threats to communists) affecting the plot or story. The film could pretty much have been set in the 90s or even just a year ago for all the difference it would have made to the narrative. Meh.

The characters are also evidently appalling. All of them. Not one character did I find interesting, there were all stereotypical personas with no emotions unless it was convenient for them to show feelings for an event to occur. Example? Lou has never been anything more then a total jerk to his other mates. Yet they forgive him ‘because that’s what friends do’. Did he do anything to justify forgiveness? No. Did he accomplish or realise anything? No. The single thing he understood was that to avoid committing suicide he must stay in the 80s and use the knowledge of the future to make him rich and successful. Awesome. Oh yeah, and ‘I’m gonna be a good dad’. That was suppose to be the turn around, except it’s rushed, briefly said as an afterthought and we don’t believe it. Plus as the son Jacob will have no recollection of whether Lou was a good dad for the 20 years of his life it’s utterly pointless. Oh and Jacob’s mum, Lou’s wife, is still a sluttish two dimensional character, but this time with martinis and a boat. A big expensive boat. This makes me sick.

I must also rant about the film's ending. So everything's hanky bloody dory because Lou managed to makes his millions and be in his band ‘Motley Lou’ (for Motley Crew fans), Nick's wife no longer had an affair owing to the fact Nick called her in the 80s (when she was nine years old) and shouted abuse at her for cheating. Adam gets the girl he barely met but we assume was in love with in the 80s and Jacob...well Jacob still exists. But the BIG problem is, and this to me really bugged me as I left the cinema, with the exception of Lou the rest of the team don't actually remember the 20 years of their life that has changed. They have no memory of getting married, living in a wonderfully beautiful house or working at there dream job. I might be a big sissy girl now, but what's a life without the memories?!

And on a final note, I feel sorry for Larry Page and Sergey Brin, (the Google guys) as Lou, a slightly nicer (and I mean slightly) 'Biff' from Back To The Future gets there first in the Google (changed to Lougle) franchise. Maybe it's just me, but Lou never worked for anything and then he received all the credit for the work good clever people should have been recognized for and, well, I think that's just downright WRONG!

Alas, Hot Tub Time Machine is more of a lukewarm bubble bath, with the cheesy yet cool rubber ducky for comfort just out of reach.

2/5 – It’s alright to rent on DVD for a night in with a beer, but a cinema treat it is not with the lack of a laughing audience.